Ranty-Pants: "I Get On Better With Boys than Girls"

Ever hear a girl use that phrase, or post a status similar? Of course you have, because we all know someone who is still like that. It's popped up on my internets on more than one occasion in the past few weeks, and it turns out it's my new big red button.

As an awkward 13 year old girl, I used to think this way. My best friend at the time was a boy, and we would spend all of Geography class quoting Homestar Runner and Blackadder and just having a really good laugh in general, which eventually lead to a lot of teasing from girls in my class which soon ended up in us not being friends any more. Why? Because the other girls in my class were immature and made us feel as though we were being abnormal, so due to being alienated I had years of semi-hollow friendships with girls for the majority of my school years, because that's what I felt I was obligated to do.

Now you can feel sorry for me if you want, and I suppose I was only 13 at the time. But what I wouldn't do to go back and change my own attitude and tell them all to STFU. Not because my friend at the time was a boy. No. But because we were amazing friends, like super close and shit due to similar interests and a matching sense of humour. Not once did the fact that he had a different genitalia than myself come into it, and why would it?

I also remember a lot of really nice girls in my year, but I never made the effort to get to know them better, either because I was too shy, or they were hanging out in a gang which contained one or two bitches, and it's always recommended that you never poke the teenage hormone crazy bear, especially if you yourself are prone to being one too.

Chances are that if you're no longer in school and still say shit like "Girls are so bitchy, that's why I hang out with boys" then you have been associating with the wrong girls, and holy shit NEWSFLASH! Boys can be bitchy assholes too. How do I know this? I worked in a video game store, which is obviously the land of masculinity.

Now I'm not defining the entirety of the male personalities I worked with on their bitchy qualities, because I got on well with a lot of them most of the time. But there was a lot of talking behind each others backs, but to be fair there was no gender discrimination there. They would talk about anyone not present, whether they had a meatpole or mammaries.

Surprisingly (but not really), the majority of the girls I worked with were just normal human beings, who you could just talk to without feeling judged, and they didn't have a bad thing to say about anyone unless provoked. So if you're one of those girls who wants to limit herself to male friendships only because you want to avoid bitchiness and drama, I suggest you get a hamster until you're ready to deal with real human interaction.

It has also raised a whole bunch of questions for me as to why some girls think that friends with a Y chromosome are so much better.

Is it because they play video games? Last time I checked, there were a lot of girls that play video games too. Not the ones that will play 10 minutes of "Call of Duty: How Many of These Can We Make?" and say they kick ass at video games for male attention (because a few do exist, we can't really deny that but sooner or later they will be caught out). I'm talking about the ones that play what they like and have so much fun they enter a time warp where suddenly it's 3am, the tea they made has gone stone cold and dinner is burning to a crisp in the oven.

Is it because they go out and drink beer? I've seen plenty of women drink beer too, and if you think that effects their femininity then you should really read into human beings a bit deeper rather than judging them by their beverage preference. Beer was not made exclusively for men, I can tell because women can drink it too without it causing them to grow a penis or beard. I once ate a Yorkie Bar that was marketed as "not for girls" and I'm still waiting for my stubble and meat truncheon to appear.

Is it because they're funny? Being funny comes in many forms, and it doesn't need to be over-the-top slapstick to be considered hilarious. Yes it's a great way to automatically unlock a woman's chastity belt, but humour can also be intelligent and cutting without being harmful to any precious feelings (Y'know, when a lot of people think it's just a girl being bitchy). Women can be funny without being a threat to you or masculinity itself, though it's probably worth a rant on its own.

No matter what excuse you give, you're essentially cutting yourself off from the possibility of making some really awesome and meaningful relationships, and you're kind of bringing further negativity towards the female gender. The more you act like being a girl is the worst thing ever, the more people will believe it. If the worst thing someone can think to call me is a girl, then I'm doing really fucking good for myself, and they seriously need to work on their insults.

If you're reading this and happen to be a female with lots of male friends because you're all awesome people who get along like a house on fire, that's great, because you probably already know that it doesn't make you a special snowflake or give you a better rank in the invisible hierarchy of women.

So if you're a fan of this phrase, just stop. The moment will come when you will spew that crap in the company of perfectly awesome women, automatically writing them off because of their foof and jubblies, and they might have something to say about it that you won't like.

As I've always said: "Quite often, twats don't like to be informed that they're being twats".