Here's to Rather Snazzy 2015

I usually hate making resolutions at new years, primarily because I feel very on the spot and it seems a little bit weird deciding to change your life now that the new year has arrived rather than immedietly the moment you think that there's some part of your life that is lacking. I've had a lot of time to think about these, months in fact. Why didn't I make these changes months ago? Probably because I was in a very bad place, and life just was not cutting me a break.

Looking back at the end of 2013, I had spent Christmas eve working my ass off in Birmingham only to then travel down to Cornwall with my Brother and boyfriend for Christmas Day. I then came back to the damp and cold hellhole that was my flat in Wolverhampton. I randomly quit my job two days after new years, no longer able to stand the long hours, creepy managers, overnight shifts and crappy pay. I had moved away from Newquay to work hard for a nice flat and an exciting life. Unfortunately we couldn't afford anywhere nice, and the bills and extremely long working hours stopped me from enjoying myself at all, so until I found work again we were flat broke.

My relationship was reaching breaking point, money problems were destroying us, and the dank pit we lived in made things even worse. My new journey to work was always filled with dread, either seeing someone being attacked or asked by strange men if I wanted a lift as they stalked me in their car. As the summer approached, I decided that enough was enough, and that I needed to move away, even if it meant living away from my partner to get some head space and decide what it is that we both really wanted.

He had a career in a big city, whereas I was just sort of floating around jobless with my self-confidence knocked back from all the unsuccessful interviews, always having to rely on the kindness of my friends and family. It made me feel so guilty, especially as I wanted to repay them so badly. I made the move to Newcastle in May 2014, living with my parents again as they started their new lives in the midlands.

A few months passed and I applied for job after job, doing anything for any number of hours and rate of pay, not even thinking of looking for a career anymore. After two months of trial shifts, travelling for interviews and no thank you's, I finally broke. It made me wonder if I had made the right decision about moving at all, whether I should have stuck with my four hour contract at Primark and stayed with my boyfriend in Wolverhampton, trying to fight off the debt. It made me wonder if I had any purpose at all, and led me to think that I was no more than burden.

Fortunately, the clouds in my life started to clear and I was thrown a life line. A random phone call from an agency I'd joined months previously had decided to get in contact. Where would I be working? Urban Decay. Even though it was only for two days, it was like a dream come true.

Of course I accepted, given my sales targets and nothing more I had an amazing time. On my first day I was contacted by the Area Manager and asked if I would like to be interviewed for the position as Counter Manager. My head was spinning, my stomach churning and my outlook on life starting to brighten up. No more than two weeks later I had passed my interview and got the job. I now work with a lovely group of ladies, and have no problem getting out of bed in the morning to get ready for work.

Not too long afterwards, the boyfriend and I began to discuss our next move whether it was marriage or the excitement of a mortgage (mortgages are not exciting, they are scary and confusing). Our relationship has improved tremendously since we starting living apart, realising how much we missed one another and the things we actually did for each other, such as my washing machine regime or Seb's awesome dinners.

So while I'm kind of glad to see the back of 2014, primarily because I'll never forget how hard the rain poured before the sun began to shine again, it reminds me that no matter how bad things can get, that time will pass and things will get better. Even if the wait is long and horrible, it's worth it.

So what improvements could I possibly make to make my life any better? Well here's what I'm thinking..

Being Happy with my Body

This is one that I sort of make every year. Usually phrased as 'Lose Weight'. To be honest I just want to feel happy in my own skin, so whether that means going insane at the gym, eating better or just accepting and loving what I've got, being happy with my squishy outer layer is something I'd really like to achieve.

Learn to Budget like an Adult

Seeing as I'm earning a good wage, I need to make sure I'm not going to go on a mental spending spree considering I'm working on the front lines of temptation. I'm contemplating some kind of nerdy graph to track my bills and spending so I always know where I'm up to. This then allows me to save like an adult, which is kind of boring but means a lot after having no money at all.

Go on more Adventures

Part of my saving will be going towards the adventure fund, so that any time that a friend asks if we want to join them on an adventure then I have no money excuses. I'm already going to Wacken in August, but I may check out Download this year seeing as I've never been before  good thing I reread this before posting, because there's no way I'm not going with a line up that good. I feel this will be the year of new experiences.

So that pretty much sums up my ambitions for the new year, they're realistic but require effort and will involve no actual torture (unless I do go to the gym, in which case I'll invest in some tiger balm).